Crappy Product, Killer Sales

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Chia Pets. Pet rocks. Stompies (You know the bedroom slippers the kids HAVE to have to stomp around in and make their ears flap up and down.) Holy bad products, Batman. You can sell crap, literally, as long as you package it right. These copywriting tips will help you sell more crap, and make more money, if you choose to. And that’s where everyone gets it wrong. That’s where business owners and entrepreneurs drop the proverbial ball because dropping a brick would just be dangerous for your toes.

Maybe it’s that evil doubt that creeps in and whispers ever so softly in your ear, “Are you crazy?? No one is going to pay for that! Ronco is already selling a better version, you goob, now…forget it!” So you do. You forget it and roll on to the next idea. Leaving loads of money on the table because you didn’t think outside the concept to know if you could make it succeed. Maybe it’s worse. Maybe you go ahead with above said crappy idea. But because it’s not beautifully wrapped up, no one recognizes it. All they see is pictures of you with your cheesy grin saying, “Buy my goodies because they’re, well, GOOD for you!” – Obvious, copywriting tips not implemented! No one wants or likes to hear that kind of marketing. No one will recognize genius in that. No one will lay out a dollar for anything that’s not wrapped with a sexy marketing bow. And even if the marketing is mediocre, if it speaks the right language, it becomes gold-laced.

Copywriting Tips #1 – It’s About What You Say
Look at Chia Pets. What the heck is that?? Who needs that? Yet, they’ve been iterated and made into new forms. Their marketing genius? “Hey, kids! You want a pet that your mom won’t make you clean up after? That grows green hair? Here! This is just for you!” Amazing. The message speaks to the target audience and is a successful one.

Look at Power Balance Bands. They do essentially nothing. A hologram pendant on a rubber bracelet, yet it’s worn by thousands of athletes. Their marketing genius? “Motivate your life.” What? Again, their message resonates with the athletes who believe in Eastern philosophies and who want to reach their next level. The magic of words can turn your crappy product into a money-maker.

Copywriting Tips #2 – How to Wrap Crap So You Can Make Money
Know, love, eat, sleep, breathe your ideal client. When you can crawl inside the soul of your ideal customer, you’ve Excel’d them down to a fine point, backed it up and done it again, you can speak to the parts of them that will turn their hearts on to yours. Never, ever take Rule 1 lightly. Spend time talking to the people that you want to target. Spend time getting to know how they feel about the computer they use, about the social networks they spend time on, about the clothes they would wear, if they could.

Write for them, ONLY after you’ve spent time living their lives. Put yourself in their shoes. Listen to the music they listen to. Read what they read. THEN, put your pen to the paper immediately after. Try your work and be ready to throw it away to work from a new angle. Sometimes you can put your heart and soul into what you’ve done, only to find your psyche skills misled you. That’s okay. The beauty of the Net is that it’s very forgiving. Scrap the crap and start again.

Although, above two copywriting tips are valid, don’t rely solely on words. Create an experience they won’t forget and you’ll fare far better. Make the buying experience easy. Make it beautiful. Entice them with images and colours that make them feel like they’re worth the extra effort you’ve put into your product. What you sell has to have value to the ones you want to sell it to. So, no matter what it is that you’re pimping, you up it’s value in spades by using the words you’ve handpicked for your customers, and bleed significance to them.


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